We Don’t Talk About Money
Typically, people in our society do not openly talk about money. The topic is a bit taboo. We don’t directly ask someone how much they make, what their rent/mortgage is, or how much debt they have. Talking about money can feel uncomfortable. Sometimes these discussions bring up feelings of jealousy, competition, judgement, or resentment. Often people wonder how those around them live the lifestyle they live. Social media presents an image and then people make assumptions based on what they see.
The reality is that avoiding the topic of money often begins in childhood and at home. Caregivers support their children financially without needing to talk about expenses. At some point though children get to an age where it would be appropriate to talk through some basic concepts about money such as what paying interest means, credit cards, savings, and how to decide where to spend your money. Many people I’ve worked with end up in debt in their adulthood because they were never taught about these things. Credit card debt can be very difficult to manage and if it gets too overwhelming it’s easier to ignore it which leads larger financial problems. It can be an endless cycle. People often feel shame around their debt. They think they should be able to understand and manage money. How is this possible if nobody ever taught them what to do?
Another issue that arises is that people who are uncomfortable talking about money tend to also struggle when it comes time to ask for a raise. Understandably, there is fear that accompanies asking for more money. Maybe the person is worried they aren’t worth more. Maybe they’re concerned that simply asking will result in their boss questioning their ability. Sadly, I find this tends to be a bigger challenge for women. Since we don’t openly talk about money in our society people don’t have the chance to encourage others to speak up and ask for more. New York recently passed The Salary Transparency Law which requires an employer, of four or more employees, to post a salary range when advertising a job, promotion, or transfer opportunity. Having transparency around salary range is helpful and takes some of the guesswork out of the equation. In ways it also continues to play into the way that our society does not directly talk about money because it’s being stated without having to be discussed.
How often do you think about how you choose to spend your money? Everyone makes choices on what things they will and won’t spend money on. It can range from spending on a nice home, traveling, fine dining, jewelry, clothes, therapy, or saving for later in life. There are not right and wrong answers on how to spend your money. It’s a very individualized decision. However, it’s important to give it thought and have intention on how you’re spending. If not, you may be using money to buy things or to escape life without even realizing there’s a larger issue at hand.
